You have all seen the two drink minimum from Becky and Kristina...so here we are back in action. Sit back and enjoy the ride. We have some fun stories strictly for your entertainment...Live from New York, its...well, its just us:)
So where to begin...how bout last night. As you might know it was the lovely 4th of July holiday and Macy's goes to crazy with this. We watched from a rooftop in the east village about 7 barges display the MOST spectacular firework show in the history of shows! We ooh-ed, we aaah-ed...a little pee came out (what, its true)! So after the show, we wanted to head back up town so we could stagger home but somehow leashed into a pitcher with a guy who spent 2 months in his bedroom by himself creating a claymation invite for A (count that ONE) party. YA...he was cool, a real keeper. So we sat..and sat...and chugged just to leave faster. He ended up giving Kristina his card so they could "hang out in his room and work on his next claymation project." (her experience on the infamous P.Grif lego video was a HUGE turn-on ;-)) Mind you she had a raging case of strep throat and that didn't stop his efforts.
Long story short, the leg kicks under the table, with the clutching of the troat and the lying of the big day allowed us to escape unscathed. So the cabbie...where to begin. He picked us up 50 blocks down town from our house, and while speaking French, or some shit, tried to back track down town on OUR dollar 6 blocks. NOT to be ripped off, we made the executive decision to stop 25 block away from our house at 2 am. So we walked...both in 3 in stilleto heals through Hell's Kitchen, just the two of us, wasted, at night...brillant. We will not be robbed blind of $1.50...thank you very much!!!! No cabbie in his right mind tries to pull a fast one on Becky and Kristina. Oh HELL no! So we're making friends...garbage men, gangsters, pimps, hoes! Oh yes, and Kristina pissed on a brand new Escalade while I played look-out. After sweet relief (Kristina says the sweetest) our journey uptown continued. Mind you we are crusin...no one is gonna fuck w/ us even in our heels. So some garbage man decides to cat-call us in our fit of rage about the cabbie ripping us off ($1.50 may sound like pocket change, but to two drunk chicks, that is the best bagel we've ever had from Broadway Bagels, so ya, it matters)... Well, let's just say that the cat-call was the straw that broke Becky's back. Out of nowhere, her arms go a-flyin, and she shouts to the offender, "THAT DOESN'T WORK!!!! NO ONE WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU USING THAT!!!! ... WHO??? WHO HAS SEX WITH YOU??? NAME ME ONE WOMAN!!!!" To which the trash guy replies, "It works!! You have a great ass!" (Not answering the question) At which point Becky resigns herself to a cry of "I HATE THIS CITY!" at no point breaking pace with Kristina.
And so we walked, for what seemed like hours, but only because each step was made on already bruised balls (of our FEET, perverts!) and we had miles to walk. But we made it! :-D
But on the brighter side, we think the water here has some sort of special ingredient or something, because our cups-runeth-over, if you know what I mean... We're not exaggerating... our boobs are HUGE, I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em, I mean, MA-MA! ...Our old bras are not man enough to handle this situation! Mary-Kate and Ashley are bigger than they've ever been... Venus and Serena are larger than life... what's the world coming to? We suspect the garbage men--no? ;)
Anyhoo--we have beers to drink, Star Wars to watch, and cat-callers to sass! Hope you all are having fun and enjoyed our first joint blog!!! Take care and love you all!
xoxo
Becky and Kristina ;)
So where to begin...how bout last night. As you might know it was the lovely 4th of July holiday and Macy's goes to crazy with this. We watched from a rooftop in the east village about 7 barges display the MOST spectacular firework show in the history of shows! We ooh-ed, we aaah-ed...a little pee came out (what, its true)! So after the show, we wanted to head back up town so we could stagger home but somehow leashed into a pitcher with a guy who spent 2 months in his bedroom by himself creating a claymation invite for A (count that ONE) party. YA...he was cool, a real keeper. So we sat..and sat...and chugged just to leave faster. He ended up giving Kristina his card so they could "hang out in his room and work on his next claymation project." (her experience on the infamous P.Grif lego video was a HUGE turn-on ;-)) Mind you she had a raging case of strep throat and that didn't stop his efforts.
Long story short, the leg kicks under the table, with the clutching of the troat and the lying of the big day allowed us to escape unscathed. So the cabbie...where to begin. He picked us up 50 blocks down town from our house, and while speaking French, or some shit, tried to back track down town on OUR dollar 6 blocks. NOT to be ripped off, we made the executive decision to stop 25 block away from our house at 2 am. So we walked...both in 3 in stilleto heals through Hell's Kitchen, just the two of us, wasted, at night...brillant. We will not be robbed blind of $1.50...thank you very much!!!! No cabbie in his right mind tries to pull a fast one on Becky and Kristina. Oh HELL no! So we're making friends...garbage men, gangsters, pimps, hoes! Oh yes, and Kristina pissed on a brand new Escalade while I played look-out. After sweet relief (Kristina says the sweetest) our journey uptown continued. Mind you we are crusin...no one is gonna fuck w/ us even in our heels. So some garbage man decides to cat-call us in our fit of rage about the cabbie ripping us off ($1.50 may sound like pocket change, but to two drunk chicks, that is the best bagel we've ever had from Broadway Bagels, so ya, it matters)... Well, let's just say that the cat-call was the straw that broke Becky's back. Out of nowhere, her arms go a-flyin, and she shouts to the offender, "THAT DOESN'T WORK!!!! NO ONE WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU USING THAT!!!! ... WHO??? WHO HAS SEX WITH YOU??? NAME ME ONE WOMAN!!!!" To which the trash guy replies, "It works!! You have a great ass!" (Not answering the question) At which point Becky resigns herself to a cry of "I HATE THIS CITY!" at no point breaking pace with Kristina.
And so we walked, for what seemed like hours, but only because each step was made on already bruised balls (of our FEET, perverts!) and we had miles to walk. But we made it! :-D
But on the brighter side, we think the water here has some sort of special ingredient or something, because our cups-runeth-over, if you know what I mean... We're not exaggerating... our boobs are HUGE, I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em, I mean, MA-MA! ...Our old bras are not man enough to handle this situation! Mary-Kate and Ashley are bigger than they've ever been... Venus and Serena are larger than life... what's the world coming to? We suspect the garbage men--no? ;)
Anyhoo--we have beers to drink, Star Wars to watch, and cat-callers to sass! Hope you all are having fun and enjoyed our first joint blog!!! Take care and love you all!
xoxo
Becky and Kristina ;)
posted by Kristina }|{ at 11:30 PM
6 Comments:
Don't worry about that garbage guy. That's just Hank. I sent him over their from T-town so that you don't have to quit cold turkey in your daily dose of Tacoma local hospitality. Oops, gotta go, My T-locdar has detected a hot, lonely 19 year old with low self esteem within 5 blocks from here. Gotta run...
Well if you didn't wear 3-inch heels, your balls foot-related or not, might not hurt!!
Sounds like drunkin' madness! O, New York!!!
I was wondering how those ladies were doing..
erm.. I mean...
I was wondering how you ladies were doing..
;o)
I believe I speak for the entire group when I say that I don't believe you about Mary Kate & Ashley and Venus & Serena and that you had better post some pics pronto to prove it, lest we assume you are guilty of exaggeration.
seconded
that was amazing
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